Monday, September 12, 2011

Why are your libraries full of tears?

I read. It's good thing. Scratch that; it's the best thing I can do with my time till I learn how to write something worth reading myself, so I'll choose and pick bones with everyone who claims to 'not have the time'. Balls, I say. I get through a 9-hours workday + 4 hours' travel + my second job that you guys know nothing of (actually, you know zilch of my first job, come to think of it) + the requisite amount of social life a person's required to have in order to be classified 'normal' and guess what? I still find time to get through one book per day. So, please:

1) Do not whine to me about the lack of time: The only people I know that don't read books are the ones with the most time on their hands. There's a term for people like that - 'vella'. Go on, look it up. It's what I used to be until recently.

2) Do not tell me you read books & then list 'Da Vinci Code' as your 'favoritest' book ever: I mean, that's just disgusting. It's as if you aren't even trying to wise up to the fact that even though some books make for thrilling one-time reads, they aren't the only ones of their kinds. It may be a great read, but unless it resonates with you completely, it's not favorite-book material.

3) Do not try to get away by watching the movie and claiming to have read the book: Because, I mean, that's just you branding yourself the lamest person ever. Right next to the guy in high-school who raved of his sexual escapades, but was, in fact, a virgin till you last saw him. Probably, still is.

4) Do not, once you start reading, turn into a book-snob: Only because you've read Proust's works a bazillion times does not give you the right to proclaim that you wouldn't touch a modern writer's piece or a more contemporary work with a ten-foot pole. You're not fooling any one by one-upping someone by citing  the books you've read. All they have to do to get even is, you know, just go read the book. It's simpler that you might think. And seriously? I read Albert Camus and Chuck Palahniuk at the same time, so really, screw you.

5) Do not attempt to try to fight with me about this over the internet: Because, really, what are you gonna do? Caps Lock me to death?

You CAN however now reach me on my shiny-new (okay, not so new, however, now frequently updated) Twitter handle to tell me how much you missed me or just diss me.

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