Tuesday, October 4, 2011

She tells the story three times, convinced he does not understand. He is trying.

This past week has been slightly off-kilter, people-wise. Between a condescending waitress, grammar Nazis with serious punctuation issues and reporters peed off with life, in general, a lot is happening. However, that's not what I'm busy doing right now. I'm busy earning the hard-earned paycheck I just got, busy waiting for it to cash and busy planning some seriously obscene spending sprees. A bit hard-pressed for time, I'ma leave with you a collection of my tweets from the week. I included only the good ones, pwomise.

For constant uninterrupted stalking, follow me @crazyanddrunk.

-Contemplating a worldwide basic grammar tutorial, however, I believe the climax shall include a stun-gun.

-Sometimes, I deliberately use extremely long sentences to tick people off or to confuse the hell out of them, simply because I know that I can.

-Wonder what it'd feel like to stuff Kinder-Joy eggs with Nutella and call them Kinderella.

-So, now you can't even call a spade a spade. Apparently, that's hurtful to the spade's feelings.

-Sing (Blur) is the perfect going-up-the-escalators and staring-incessantly-out-the-window-while-in-the-metro song.

-There is no future in time-travel - On a girl's t-shirt this morning. Also known as my new idol.

-And then, you even outgrow your bumper stickers. Sheesh.

-Oh, PLEASE, hasn't everyone once wondered if George Lucas is Santa Claus? The resemblance, people???

-Indian Railways denied permission for the 'Bond 23' sequence. No Craig. Nor Bardem. I can't catch a break.

-Drake's eyebrows are so far apart that they have to Skype if they want to play Battleship.

-I think I just coined a new term. 'Engtertained'. It's when you're entertained. By a cat.

-Turns out Mountain Dew Neon doesn't REALLY glow in the dark. *sniffles*

-New FB: More stalker-friendly and even more intrusive, for your pleasure. YAY.

-Time to jostle my way through the other 3,628 trillion public-transportation users. Where's my bayonet?

-Open letter to Delhi: Please, stop turning into Mumbai. You know, with the rains and everything. I still haven't learned how to swim. XOXO

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